Stephanie Myer’s release of the popular series “Twilight” has spawned an invasion of vampires of all sizes and shapes. I was working as a barista at a bookstore café when I encountered my first vampire. My back was turned to the counter and I was grinding coffee beans. Since there were no customers in the café lobby, I heard only the high pitched whir of the industrial grinder.
Suddenly, from behind me there was a hissing noise. I abruptly turned around, but saw nothing. Was one of our machines malfunctioning? A gas leak perhaps? The hissing happens again. I lower my gaze by about two feet to behold a cute, but fearsome creature. He’s three feet tall, around 7-8 years of age, and cloaked in a cape.
“Boo! I’m a vampire! I want to get some blood!”
I politely inform him that the café does not supply blood, but that we do make hot chocolate. I feared that my unsatisfied customer might suck my blood, but fortunately, this vertically challenged beast had a parental unit that provide for his beverage needs.
While the mom-unit was purchasing his drink, the vampire reassures me, “Don’t worry, I drink cows blood, not human blood. I’m a vegetarian vampire.”
His mom mutters “Shut up, Jay Jay.”
The vampire continues, "I do like to bite though.”
"HUSH!" his mom commands.
I begin to fear that there is there a head-vampire out there biting the youth in order to build up massive blood-sucking army.
Jay Jay’s mom – or I should say the vampire's mom - rolls her eyes and tells me that they just watched "Twilight" together.
Ah hah, so Stephanie Myer’s is the head vampire.
No comments:
Post a Comment